The Metaphysical Me

As many of you may know, I dabble in poetry. I don’t merely consider myself a poet, columnist or a bloggist; simply put, I am a writer. I am inspired at different times to share my views in different forms. I recently watched a Youtube interview with Tavis Smiley and Will Smith. I was immediately inspired by Will’s first line in his reply, which in turn became the first line in my poem. To fully be inspired, after reading this poem, check out the interview at Will Smith on Work Ethics.

The Metaphysical Me

 

I want to live in a universe where 2 plus 2 always equals 4,

Where dreams and reality are synonymous;

And every promising corridor gives way to an open door.

To fully understand the infinite surplus of “More.”

Where natural talent and acquired skills conjugate- To leave no possibilities unexplored.

I want to be part of a world,

Where the culmination of ambition and perseverance-

Incessantly produce fruit.

A place where influence and favor are fertile ground for happiness–

And, not just the pursuit.

A place where the hunger and desires, seeded deeply in my heart–

Are so intertwined with my very being,

That not until death, will we part.

Oh, I want to create a place,

Where hope could never be denied;

A haven, so a little girl who dreams as big as me,

Would never lose her stride.

Would you like to join me in this place without limits;

With a sky as high as you once believed?

Where your wildest dreams are attainable.

Where the odds of measurable successes,

Are not so few and far between.

I was told we have the power within us,

To create the world in which we live.

To reciprocate the energy we put out in the universe,

And we get it back the same measure, in which we give.

So, relentless pursue your goals, for one day they will be.

Exploit your innate power to convert mere dreams to reality

Family Matters (Passed the Holidays)

This offering comes on the heels of the holiday season. I hope your days were filled with thoughtful gifts, great food and most importantly, family. Spending time with the people we care most about during the holidays is a tradition as old as time, or at least in my family it is.

Every year my brothers, sister and I, along with an ever-increasing brood of nieces and nephews, no matter how crowded, gather at my mother’s apartment on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve. The festivities includes everyone chipping in to create delectable dishes, which this year consisted of gumbo, baked chicken, dirty rice, greens, sweet potatoes and a red and green peppermint cake. My mouth is still watering, by the way.

Without fail, during this time, there is an atmosphere of “feel-good” seasonal music then a game of cards or dominoes ensues. Later in the evening all of the adults partake of my younger brother’s infamous yuletide concoction, playfully called “Dat Nawg,” which is a mixture of rum and eggnog. Laughs and jokes are shared, throughout the day. At exactly midnight we gather hand in hand around the tree to offer up a prayer and begin distributing gifts.

At times like these it is easy to feel the love and closeness of ones’ family. But after the last carol is sung, the candy canes have been polished off, and everyone returns to his or her separate home, what happens to that family bond which was displayed so boastfully between the last two months of the year?

This topic has been on my heart for a while and became increasingly more urgent as specific events unfolded in my personal life and in the lives of the people surrounding me. Because I felt so compelled to write this entry, I hope that it speaks to at least one person. I did not only submit this entry due to the time of the year. I am writing because 2010 proved a time of loss and near losses for many people I consider very close to me.

I watched a friend become the sole caregiver for his mother who was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in the first quarter of the year. In October I was there as she lost her battle to the fast-paced disease. Though bittersweet, the beautiful thing that happened for my friend was during those months of being with his mother, he grew closer to her, forgave unexplained occurrences in his childhood, and moreover, learned more about himself in the process. Via Facebook, I offered condolences to others who had lost their mothers or other family member, swiftly and without warning or in some cases, after a long struggle. I also talked to individuals for hours that had battled depression and other frustrations, which led them to contemplate suicide. I am not revealing this information to put anyone’s personal business on the forefront. I am simply explaining the events that drove me to complete this topic. In looking back, I felt so much compassion for these people.

Closer to home, my own mother was rushed to the hospital in early November. When she was first taken in, I didn’t think it was very serious, then later found that she had in fact suffered a cardiac episode and required two major bypass surgeries. She was in the West Houston Medical Center for 2 ½ weeks. After she was released from the hospital my older brother and I had to alternate caring for her, as she was immobile.

This was an extremely difficult time for me, but not solely for the reasons one might think. I will make public some of the goings on during that time. One day prior to the hospital stint, an argument took place between my younger brother and my mother; an argument, though I tried to take a diplomatic point of view, that I was somehow dragged into anyway. Therefore during the first week of my mother’s treatment, when she wasn’t inundated with medication, she treated me horribly; not acknowledging my presence, talking about me to who ever would listen, along with trying to deny my visits in the beginning. Yet I showed up everyday tight-lipped and never disrespectful. I had to swallow my pride and step up to the plate.

Even though I wanted to be sensitive to the fact that she was prone to another cardiac event, I felt like I needed to have a healing conversation with her to attempt to clear the air.  I wanted to mend our relationship, which had been strained for a number of years. We did speak candidly and for now are on good terms. Throughout the entire ordeal the question kept coming to me,“ How can one have more compassion for strangers or mere acquaintances than for ones’ own family?”

In analyzing my dealings, I came to the conclusion that sometimes we treat strangers/acquaintances better than our own family because we never witnessed the stranger’s transgressions or imperfections.  We do not harbor a preconceived notion of them that we can base our dissent upon. Because many of us may have unhealed wounds, intentionally or unintentionally, inflicted by family members, we have to implore forgiveness. We need to learn to forgive because though we may not have agreed with all methods employed in our upbringing, as adults we can appreciate the fact that there is no guidebook to parenting or guidelines on how to be a great kid or uncle or aunt, for that matter. I have tried to gain a better understanding of peoples’ actions. I constantly remind myself that we are all fallible human beings and capable of improving our interactions but we have to be willing. Though this is the hardest part, I also analysis myself to acknowledge my shortcomings. If you have paid any attention to the previous two sentences, I used the word try because maintain such a relationship is an on going task. To maintain or rebuild family relationship it is dire to choose your battles carefully. And when disagreements happen, which they will, put it in perspective in order to press past it.

“You can not choose the family you were born into,” an honest and obviously fed up member of a family somewhere throughout time, once spoke. Many of us can empathize with this statement. Friends tend to be selected based on common interests, goals, or down right enjoying the experiences and conversations shared. With family, often times, it is hard to believe you are from the same planet, let alone the same gene pool.  As you grow and mature your way of thinking, your views, and motivations can become so different from the family you were raised in. As you have read, from personal experience, I would have to say that the family relationship is the hardest relationship to maintain. However, it is the most important because your family makes you who you are, whether you are running from your experiences or embracing them. Due to the natural bond, it is not as easy to walk away from as you would a friendship or romantic interest that didn’t pan out.

As I mentioned earlier in this entry, I have experienced too many deaths and near losses in 2010 alone. I have no desire to let my family relationships simply fall by the wayside. I do not want to miss out on a relationship with anyone out of anger or being hung up over seemingly small arguments. Besides, when the final curtain closes, those spats are so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. This is the beginning of the year; a time for everyone to set their New Year’s resolutions, I encourage you to reconnect with family, repair broken relationships and to continue to grow as a person. I hope that you have gained some value in my offering today and that you will work to improve your family bond because as the title states, family matters passed the holidays.

In closing, feel free to leave your commentary on this topic or suggestions for future entries. Thank you for your subscription.

Charity (Giving to Yourself)

Charity (Giving to Yourself)

When I elected to search full time for a new career, I made the conscious decision to take at least one day a week to explore the city of Houston, as it is a great city with a lot to offer. In getting in touch with the city’s culture, I visit a local attraction that A) I haven’t seen before or B) a place I haven’t been in a longtime. One of my most recent excursions led me to the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. FYI: Thursday after 2:00 p.m. most Houston museums offer free admission.

While enjoying the shear beauty of the paintings at MFAH, I came across a breathtaking oil on canvas entitled “Charity.” In this painting, there was a woman who appeared to be in her early to mid 30’s. Cradled in her arms, rested a baby boy. To each side of her stood a boy aged approximately 5 and 3. The younger of the two boys tugged at her dress sleeve. The other displayed a mischievous smirk.  The mother’s countenance bore a distressed smile, her eyes gaunt, body sapped of fervor. The portrait was brimming with unspoken angst.

Even though a German artist completed “Charity” in the 16^th century, I felt compelled by the story the painting told. In reanalyzing the work of art, I realized that the mother, as is expected by society, had given so much of herself. And for that reason, she was exhausted, broken, beat down, stress out. Still true in today’s society, people, especially mothers, give desiring nothing in return. They give their time, energy, and soul. On the job, fulfilling their household/family duties, or even in the pursuit of their own goals, they give. These people, both men and women, put so much into these activities that they never take time the to give to themselves.

Some readers may think the phrase “giving to yourself,” is a bit selfish and indulgent. To that I would submit that more often than not these “givers” have no one giving to them or making certain their needs, no matter how small, are met. Some caregivers have no one to “care” of them. To these “givers, ” I would say, ever so often do something for YOU. Do not be ashamed to admit that you are not “Superman/Superwoman.”  It is irrational to meet all of these responsibilities, expectations, and/or goals without being spent in the pursuit. In the daily grind, it is understandable to become wearied and need to distress.  Take some well deserved “ME” time.

This “ME” time, or as I described it earlier; giving to yourself, can be something as easy as going for a calming walk around the block to ease your mind. Perhaps you can enjoy that Zumba class you’ve continuously put off, get a manicure and pedicure, or indulge in a massage at a great spa. Maybe those activities don’t tickle your fancy.  Other self-charitable suggestions include: simply dressing up when you do your everyday routine, going to a nice restaurant, catching a movie, or taking a tour of the Houston museums. Wink, wink. These are all outings that would be fun if shared with a significant other. Nonetheless, I am single, and these are activitites that I have enjoyed just as much by myself.

For the people and things we love we push ourselves to the limit. We love unconditionally and give sacrificially to causes such as family, careers, education, relationships, dreams and aspirations. To maintain sanity in an insane world filled with schedules, to do lists and sometimes strange and unexpected occurrences, make time for YOU. You are doing yourself a disservice if you neglect your human need to unwind, recharge and breathe.

In parting, I urge you to take a day this week to be charitable to yourself. You are worth it.

Wake Up!!!